Brilliant TV Screenplay (Attention Vince Gilligan)

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I just watched the ending of Breaking Bad where Walt dies. He dies right at the end. Yep. He’s dead. It was a great ride, and a pity it’s all over. OH, WAIT, IT’S NOT OVER! That’s right, thanks to me, a complete genius, which is how you will think of me after reading the next few pages of my amazing screenplay.

You’ve seen Breaking Bad. You’ve seen Mrs. Doubtfire. Now get ready for the FUTURE! The future is this brilliant movie spin-off idea:

INT. Albuquerque Morgue

COP 1: Well, that’s one dead meth kingpin.

CLOSE UP: BRYAN CRANSTON’s dead face

COP 2: Yes indeedy, and good riddance.

COP 1: Yeah, it’s a good thing he’s definitely dead, and hasn’t secretly concocted a special serum to make us think he’s dead.

COP 2: Plus, I for one am glad he’s not some chemistry supergenius, but just a drug overlord of some kind. What a dead dope.

(Both leave. Lights turn out.)

CLOSE UP: Bryan Cranston’s face again.

His eyes snap open. Roll opening credits:

MRS. WANDA WHITEFIRE, A.K.A. BREAKING BAD 2

INT. Ladies’ clothing store

SHOPKEEPER: Excuse me, Mr…?

WALT: (Annoying high-pitched voice) It’s MRS. My name is MRS. WHITEFIRE. Wanda Whitefire, to be precise. And (peering over glasses, to camera, deep voice again) I’m going to need a bigger wig.

EXT. WHITE RESIDENCE

Doorbell rings.

SKYLAR: Hello, can I help you?

WALT: (Annoying high-pitched voice) Yes, I’m the new housekeeper. I’m here to clean, fold towels and cook… (To self, deep voiced whisper) The best methamphetamine the criminal underworld has ever seen.

SKYLAR: What was that?

WALT: Um, I said I cook the best breakfast griddle-cakes the world has ever seen.

WALT JR: Did somebody say breakfast? Let’s hire this weird hairy lady who looks exactly like my dead father.

SKYLAR: Well, I guess you’re hired!

WALT JR: Breakfast forever! USA! USA! USA!

CLOSE UP: Walt looking directly into camera. He winks at the viewer, knowingly.

WALT: USA? More like Blue Meth Yay!

TO BE CONTINUED??? (If Vince Gilligan pays me a lot of money.)

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