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Welcome to AdelComBlog!

Articles written by Adelaide Comedians and guest posts by other funny people.

I wish I had…

By Matt Vesely I wish I had a small robot companion named Horatio who followed me around everywhere and performed menial tasks for me and learnt to love. Seriously, it’d be pretty flippin’ great. Can you imagine what life would be like with a small robot companion? One that follows you around? And performs menial Continue Reading

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The Time I Drank Too Much

By Nick O’Connell Rules and regulations are the glue that holds the fabric of society together. If people don’t follow the law, total chaos will reign. Unless those laws are about alcohol, then people will treat those laws with the same respect Andrew Bolt shows towards journalistic and basic human integrity. From 1920 to 1933, Continue Reading

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Why I Stopped Writing Blogs

There comes a time in everyone’s life when you have to re-evaluate everything. That time was a year ago for me. That’s when I stopped writing blogs. Sure, I still use the Internet like any other person, using social media, checking sites, tweeting, writing blogs and watching videos. But I’ve stopped writing blogs. When I Continue Reading

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17 Web Headlines That Prove Clickbaiters Are Losing It (Number Three Made Me Bawl Like An Injured Dingo Puppy)

‘Clickbait’ refers to web headlines written in such a way as to pique one’s curiosity (make you click it) by leaving out the type of information usually included or expected in, you know, headlines. But are these clickbaiters aware of the toll it is taking on them? Click through and find out!   It Looked Continue Reading

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Hardball Interviews: Groot

We all know Groot, the sentient tree member of the Guardians of the Galaxy. But how much do we really know about him? Who, really, am Groot? I sat down recently to have a face-to-bark conversation.   So, Groot, what’s been happening recently? I am Groot. That’s fascinating. The movie seems to be doing well, Continue Reading

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The World Doesn’t Need Any More Robin Williams Tributes

And yet, here we are. Another piece written about the passing of Robin Williams. Why are there so many articles full of sad, thoughtful words penned by usually funny or upbeat people? What’s going on? I was a weird kid. When I was 10, my favourite movie was Hook. When I was 11, it was Continue Reading

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Fun Linguistics Test!

How smart are you? Check out this sweet online test. It’s really simple. Just read through this list of thirty words. If you know the word AND its definition, you get a point. Add them all up at the end and you’ll see how smart you are. Share and compare it with your friends! Cat Continue Reading

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Terms And Phrases That Could Do With A Change

The English language is constantly evolving, but sometimes it doesn’t change fast enough for our modern society. That’s where I, Nick O’Connell, have decided to step in and sort things out. I’ve cast my eye over a few terms and phrases that could do with some updating. Here is the first cab off the rank: Continue Reading

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Why The Advertising Industry Needs Me, Chris (Marketing Genius) Knight

Want to sell products? Want to have things jumping off the shelves? Want ca$h-flow, and fast? Then you need to start advertising, my way. For instance, look back at the word cash-flow. Notice something? There’s a subliminal dollar sign. I made you think about cash subliminally and superliminally. That last word is a huge word Continue Reading

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A Male Perspective on Breastfeeding

Look, there’s a lot of opinions floating around out there, and I hate to add to the noise. Yet, I have not seen anyone else standing up and making this particular point: I don’t think men should breastfeed at all, let alone in public. Before you get angry, I’ve thought about this a lot, but Continue Reading

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How To Survive a Petting Zoo Outing

So, you’re going to a petting zoo. Wow, are you sure you can’t get out of it? Maybe a friend dared you. Maybe you lost a bet. Maybe you want to prove something to yourself. Whatever the reason, I can help you survive. I’ve been there too. I made it out alive (seven times!) and Continue Reading

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My Essay on ‘Australia in 2014’ (as written by a Year 9 in 2034)

2014 was an amazing year. Everyone was LOLing at their fun, 2-dimensional Internet on their smartphones because Steve Jobs hadn’t been cloned yet.

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A Celeblogtion of Adelaide Comedy’s 2013 from Craig Egan

After a 3 week break from Adelaide Comedy over Xmas and New Year filled with family and little kids and big kids and love and fun and learning and camping and music festival’s, closely followed by a week of Hyper~Preparation for 2014…. I’m really inspired and excited to kick off the new year at Adelaide Continue Reading

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My First Day

by Jason Pestell Today I sit down and begin to collate and write what will be my fifth solo show: I Can’t Promise You Won’t Fall In Love With Me. In five days it will be ten years since I began my comedy career. I can’t think of any better way to celebrate then to Continue Reading

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Playgroup Safari

This week’s blog is from the ever deadpan, always hilarious Fabien Clark. You can find his regular blog here and follow him on Twitter here. My first step into the world of stay-at-home dad involved joining my local playgroup. We arrived at the local community centre; my three year old boy went straight outside and immediately started Continue Reading

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Hollywood Behind-The-Scenes!

I can’t believe we’ve managed this amazing scoop, but here it is: a screenshot from the credits of the upcoming 2014 action blockbuster Robocop! You may draw your own conclusions, but I, for one, am super-excited to see this film. There are some exciting names in this list, which has NOT been confirmed yet by Continue Reading

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The Collected Correspondences of Rupert Raskolnikoff

Unearthed in late 2013, these letters date back to a simpler time, when men were gentlemen, all women were royalty and cars were seen as eccentric wheeled horse-buggies. It was early 2013. Rupert Raskolnikoff died recently from a freak bullet accident, without receiving a reply to even one of his many, many letters. This was Continue Reading

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Brilliant TV Screenplay (Attention Vince Gilligan)

*BREAKING BAD SPOILER ALERT*   *BREAKING BAD SPOILER ALERT*   *BREAKING BAD SPOILER ALERT*   *BREAKING BAD SPOILER ALERT*   *BREAKING BAD SPOILER ALERT*   *BREAKING BAD SPOILER ALERT*   *BREAKING BAD SPOILER ALERT*   *BREAKING BAD SPOILER ALERT*   *BREAKING BAD SPOILER ALERT*   *BREAKING BAD SPOILER ALERT*   *BREAKING BAD SPOILER ALERT*   Continue Reading

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Actual Want-Ads Found on Gumtree.com.au*

(*That may in fact have been placed by yours truly, Chris Knight) Tiger Blam This is not a typo. I want a tiger that explodes in some way, not Tiger Balm. I do NOT need Tiger Balm, I need Tiger Blam. This can be a stuffed tiger, a photo of a tiger, or an abstract Continue Reading

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An Editorial, Commenting on the 2013 Australian Federal Election

For quite some time, various pundits and prognosticators speculated upon the outcome of this election and now the results are in. Loyal readers naturally wish to see what the Adelaide Comedy Blog’s editor-in-chief, Chris Knight, has to say on the subject. And so, without further ado, right, I’m pretty sure everyone has tuned out by Continue Reading

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The Coo of Kphlupthy

I. An Unnamed Danger It is a great mercy and a great pity that our human, fleshy bodies and minds, filled with oozing and settling effluence, bladders and shadow pockets, are entirely incapable of fully putting together all the true horrors of existence, such as that we are fleshy bodies filled with oozing, settling, bladders, Continue Reading

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11 Signs You Might Be A Crow-Eater!

1. You order pies with ‘the beaks on the side’. 2. You refer to yourself as a ‘Corvophage.’ 3. You often fear crows may attack in reprisal for your many meals. 4. You have specific techniques for omelettes, scrambled, poached, boiled and fried crow-eggs. 5. You can tell the difference between ravens and crows every Continue Reading

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AdelaideComedy.Com Facebook Stories for Word Adelaide Festival

Last week Word Adelaide & AdelaideComedy.com gave away a money-can’t-buy meet and greet with Matt Lucas from Little Britain on Sat 17th August and tickets to see Kitty Flanagan at the Gov on August 15th All the Facebook entrants had to do was tell us a funny story about Adelaide. Anything… it just had to have Adelaide in it. Continue Reading

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Are You The Cake Boss? (By Mark Tripodi)

This week, it’s a Choose-Your-Own-Adventure Story! Remember those? Time to get choosing: It’s your birthday. Happy birthday to you. That’s what you would be saying to yourself if you were someone else. But you’re not someone else, you’re you, with all those weird body things you have. You’re getting older, and that weeping thing you Continue Reading

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Hammo Blogs Every Adelaide Gig (By Justin Hamilton)

Justin Hamilton has been blogging every single one of his gigs for 2013. It’s a fascinating read in which you can watch the metamorphosis of ideas as they transform into fully-fledged jokes and bits. Here’s the link for each Adelaide show’s rundown: Wednesday Marion Thursday Rhino Comedy Lab Friday Rhino Saturday Rhino Sunday Arkaba Schnitz Continue Reading

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Fauxxip from Plom DeNume

Here in my ivory tower I sit, gazing upon all those who move below. I mingle when the fancy takes me. I stir the ooze of intrigue, and eavesdrop upon the lives of those both above and below my station. Who am I? I am the eye that peeks around the corner, the nose that Continue Reading

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A Microfiction Collection (by Demi Lardner)

These very short short stories were originally posted on Demi’s Tumblr. Check it out! ⁂ The new Doritos ‘FLAVOUR’ flavour has so much flavour! The flavour will take over your mouth! The flavour will take over your brain! The flavour will consume the universe! Your loved ones and everyone you ever met will be doomed Continue Reading

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Get In On The Ground Floor! (by Chris Knight)

Note: I recently received this email from an unnamed source. I am a little worried it may be a scam. Please advise.   I have forwarded YOU this link because you are a person! or people! As such, don’t YOU think that YOU might like to own your own legitimately owned BUSINESS? Or a company?! Continue Reading

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Adelaide Comedy’s New Social Media Strategist (By Chris Knight)

The following is a transcript from a meeting in which a marketing consultant gave some of the Adelaide comedians a presentation on social media. Originally, there were four hour-long sessions, but the consultant left after 15 or so minutes. The following is the only record of the brief visit. Alright, is everyone here? Okay. This Continue Reading

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Fringe 2013 Comedy Reviews (By Steve Jones)

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Are Sexist Guns Corrupting Racist Geeks with Drugs in Comedy? (by Chris Knight)

Oh, hello. I was going to write about a hard-hitting issue, fraught (yes, fraught!) with opinions on either side, yet confident I could be the one clear voice of reason. My perennial promise to you, the reader, is to forge through the icy seas of uncertainty in search of truth, or at least a horse Continue Reading

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Praise the Lord and Pass the Ammunition (by Joshua ‘not-a-nut’ Cruse)

Right-wing, gun-toting Americans: proof that natural selection doesn’t always weed out the dumb. There is no arguing that gun control has worked in Australia and has also worked in many other places. However, there is a certain type of person who says they shouldn’t bother, who believes gun control can work everywhere except the USA. Continue Reading

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17 Reasons To Watch A Laughing Matter (by Marcus Doherty)

A Laughing Matter is a brand new South Australian sketch comedy series written by and starring local comedians! Featuring the work of around 100 Adelaide artists, our cast includes such popular comics as Angus Hodge, Kel Balnaves, James McCann, Leigh Qurban, Pires Eddy, Paul Stalenhoef and Golden Phung member Roy Phung, as well as a Continue Reading

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WHO WOULD WIN IN A FIGHT?* (by Chris Knight)

*(A Hypothetical Scenario—in which inanimate objects are judged not solely on their merits, but rather on their fighting skills.) Episode 1: The Rundle Mall Balls Versus The Rundle Lantern The police have placed barricades at Gawler Place and Frome Street. The shoppers have been evacuated and the helicopters are circling. This has never happened before, Continue Reading

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A Question Of Morals (by Dave Webb)

I have a question that I like to ask my overly straight friends ‘Would you let (insert openly gay celebrity) have sex with you for $1,000,000?’ If the answer is yes, then you halve the amount; if the answer is no then you double it. The reason I ask this question is that everybody has Continue Reading

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Tim, the Politically Aware Goldfish

When Obama was re-elected as president, a collective sigh of relief was heard around the world. Mainly from everyone (especially Stephen Fry). Now, I’m not usually that interested in politics, I’ll be honest… but the indescribable fear that accompanied the thought of Romney as president made me realise that I care. The world cares. After Continue Reading

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Registration Fever (by Chris Knight)

I recently registered my car in SA for the first time, legitimising my automobile as a bona-fide pie-floater and/or crow-eating machine. Registration of any kind is not fun. For example, try telling people you meet that you are ‘on a register’. They will back away, afraid of the mere mention of the word. No-one likes Continue Reading

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Mitch Hedberg Was a Writer

The following 11-minute video is from a short documentary series by Scott Moran entitled Modern Comedian. This episode focuses on Mitch Hedberg, one of the greatest one-liner comics to ever walk the face of the earth. His style was entirely his own, but he has inspired countless other comedians. Seriously, ask almost any Adelaide comedian Continue Reading

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Captain Neckbeard #2! (By Bridget Fahey)

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A Reflection on The Adelaide Magazine Cover, December 2011 (by Julia Clarke)

The December 2011 issue of the Adelaide* Magazine is striking – with colour, great font and a full body shot of a corpse. Now, I don’t want this to be a reflection of Adelaide and I don’t quite know what they were trying to say with this cover. I think their intentions were good —young Continue Reading

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Life and Death and Comedy (by Chris Knight)

Two huge, even grandiose nouns and a third tacked on the end, almost as an afterthought: life and death and comedy. A bit too serious for the blog? Well, tough. Melodrama, here we come.1 My aunt asked me to MC2 at my nana’s funeral earlier this month. My first thought was ‘sounds like a tough gig’ Continue Reading

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Tegan Higginbotham: Adelaide

(This week’s blog is by Tegan Higginbotham. You can follow her blog at teganhigginbotham.tumblr.com and on [email protected]) Allow me to set the scene: The sky is slowly turning from grey to black on a cold winters evening in Adelaide as I prepare for my fourth and final night of comedy. Deciding against having m&m’s for dinner, as Continue Reading

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Amniocentesis (by Georgie Carroll)

The latest AdelComBlog is straight from Georgie Carroll’s blog, where she is documenting the birth of her first Fringe show. Go check out the rest of the entries, people! I have a date through for the amniocentesis: Craig has given me Friday Sept 7th at my beloved Rhino for a feature spot (I am a pushy Continue Reading

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Qurbo’s Tips

Qurbo’s Tips: How To Get Smashed Without Drinking! Whether you’re one of those straight-edge dudes with a lot of tatts and a flat-brimmed cap, completely povvo or just a downright pussy, there are sometimes moments in our life where we just simply cannot drink. ‘But how can I too enjoy the effects of drinking to excess Continue Reading

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I’m So Informative! (By Julia Clarke)

I moved into the city recently and strange things started to happen – I began wearing thick-rimmed glasses with no lenses (I popped the ‘glass’ out of old 3D glasses) and became strangely attracted to oversized 2nd hand jumpers. It has also meant that I AM INCREDIBLY CULTURED and am able to have opinions on Continue Reading

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A Comic Or Two

Thanks to the talented Bridget Fahey for these wonderful comics!   PS: Check out her music and craft stuff. Buy a thing! Or press ‘like’. Or whatever.

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Wake Up Adelaide! It’s Cold and Will Be For A While (by Craig Egan)

All right Adelaide Listen Up!  I know it’s cold, I know it’s nice and warm in your bed but seriously Fire Up! You do this every year after Fringe. It gets cold and you hibernate for a month. Then you all get bored and come out again. I’ve watched you do this for 10 years. Continue Reading

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15 Film Sequels I’d Like To See (by Angus Hodge)

Ei8ht American History XI North by North-Northwest My Dinner with Andre 3000 Alienseses WALL-F Full Metal Overcoat Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid’s Kid W for Wevenge GhandII Ratatwouille The Truman Spin-off Rosemary’s Toddler Nosferatwo Braveheart II: Brave Hearter By Angus Hodge

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Comedian Share House Rules and Information Sheet (by Chris Knight)

Welcome* to the comedian share house! (*welcome may be temporary; until no longer welcome) Thank you for moving in. Specifically, thank you for paying the $700 cash deposit. We really needed that.   The Card When entering the house, you will be given a laminated card with two dates on it. The first is the Continue Reading

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15 Things Comedians Talk About When Not Onstage (by Angus Hodge)

Just this once, you, the general public, can get this sneak peek behind the scenes at Adelaide Comedy! Yes, it’s… 15 Things Comedians Talk About When Not Onstage ·The difference between men and mermen ·Zambreros vs. Hungry Jacks: Which we can afford less ·‘How many Pale Ales can I drink instead of listening to this Continue Reading

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Thirty Thoughts I Had Immediately After Bumping My Head On A Stobie Pole While Walking And Texting At Night (By Chris Knight)

Gnuuhhh… Ouch. Wha? Oh, a Stobie pole. A STOBIE POLE? I just walked into a Stobie pole. Did anyone see? Nope. Still cool. Well, I must be drunk, because that is a thing a drunk person might do. Wait. I’m entirely sober. It must have been because of this concussion it feels like I have. Continue Reading

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A Vagrant’s Guide To Couch Hopping (Or, How To Survive The MICF Without Paying Rent)

By Scrooge Scab-Stinge* Hey you! Yes, you! Have you ever needed to stay somewhere without spending those barely-earned $$? Well, fear not! Here are 12 easy steps to follow in order to make the most of your couch hopping experience!   If there’s more than one person staying in the offered lounge room, always get Continue Reading

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Adelaide Comedy's New Social Media Strategy (By Chris Knight)

It’s time to shake off the post-Fringe blues and get back into comedy again, specifically by reading the Adelaide Comedy Blog! And appropriately, Chris Knight has decided to share the minutes of a seminar given to the Adelaide Comedy crew about Social Media Optimisation: Alright, is everyone here? Okay. You’re recording? Let’s start. Okay comedy Continue Reading

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ADELAIDE FRINGE : THE HAPPIEST PLACE ON EARTH (By DJ Ian)

There are some people who spend their whole life dreaming of going to Disneyland. The magical world of dreams where the impossible becomes real. A place that is full of colourful characters, music, laughter and amazing experiences. They call it the Happiest Place on Earth. Well I say bollocks to that. I know where the Continue Reading

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The Leadup to Fringe (by Angus Hodge)

Angus Hodge took a welcome 45 minutes out of his Fringe preparation to write this. He’ll talk to you when he’s written the other 28 minutes of his show.   June: Start to worry about Fringe registration – It is, after all, only 4 months away. July: Figure out what kind of show you want Continue Reading

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Hanging Up The Mic – A Comedy Journey (By Adam Keily)

[Note: The following first appeared on AdamKeily.com on Jan 4th 2012 and is reproduced by the kind permission of the author. Also, make sure you check out TheSqueeze.com.au as well for more online hilarity. Seriously. Just bookmark it now and you’ll thank us later.] By Adam Keily So it’s now 2012, and almost five years Continue Reading

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A Grohlmas Miracle! (by Craig Egan)

Strap yourselves in for a week in the Life Of Craig Egan ~ Adelaide Comedy Promoter /Road Tripper/Tenacious Frisbee Photographer/Wanking Saviour/ Sell Out/Lover Of Lovers/Nephew of Steve/Page 3 Girl and Proud Fan of Foo Fighters, David Eric Grohl and Zander Chugg. First of all my sincere apologies for hogging Facebook last week there has been Continue Reading

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A Review of One of Adelaide’s ‘Other’ Comedy Shows (By Demi Lardner)

Like most, before I witnessed the Rundle Mall Street Preachers first-hand, I had assumed they were made of a mixture of recycled steel and medical tape. Upon viewing these wily loud-smiths in person, I realised not only that I was wrong, but that I had been standing heavily on a lady’s foot for some time, Continue Reading

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In Which James McCann Is Gushy About How Much He Likes ‘The Room’, Without Really Even Mentioning The Film.

Art is not as public as it was. The masses no longer flock to the theatre, or even the cinema, on a regular basis. Even music concerts are struggling to sell tickets, as the increasingly pathetic Big Day Out 2012 lineup suggests. We don’t even watch television together as families; ratings have plummeted since high Continue Reading

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Plom DeNume, Fake Gossip Dude

by Plom DeNume Here in my ivory tower I sit, gazing upon all those who move below. I mingle when the fancy takes me. I stir the ooze of intrigue, and eavesdrop upon the lives of those both above and below my station. Who am I? I am the eye that peeks around the corner, Continue Reading

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A Tight Five with Angus Hodge

Welcome to ‘A Tight Five with Angus Hodge’, where on a semi-regular basis local comedian and all around good-guy Angus Hodge makes another ‘comic’ take five minutes out of their useless day to answer some brilliantly written questions. For his first edition, Angus interviews Adelaide Comedy Blog curator Chris Knight on his blog, his beard, Continue Reading

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Some Reasons As To Why There is No Blog Posted This Week (By Chris Knight)

Sunday (Evening) Spent some time laughing at all the Nun-puns, then saying ‘Nun-puns’ over and over again until I started coughing. I was staring into the mirror in my room, trying it at louder and louder volumes. Nun-puns. Nun-puns. Nun-puns. See? Still hilarious. Coughing fit lasted until three in the morning.   Monday Woke up Continue Reading

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Twenty-Nun Puns About Nuns (By James McCann)

L’esprit de l’escalier is a French saying that translates to ‘the wit of the staircase’; you meet somebody at the bottom of the stairs, walk past them and come up with a clever remark for them by the time you’re atop the stairs, when it’s too late to use it. Often, one cannot simply run Continue Reading

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Comedy Taught Me a Devil Ouija Board Song (By Georgie Carroll)

In order to blog at you, I’ve had to find out what a blog is, just one of the many new things I have learned in my first year of comedy. I have been on trips, learned new swear words and I have seen the Milky Way. I have learned that silence is not golden, Continue Reading

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The Demented Scribblings of a Buffoon (By Demi Lardner)

Sometimes, when you feel the impending doom of looming year twelve examinations crushing your very being, you’ll buckle down and get a whole lot of work done. The following are products of all of the times I decided to do the opposite, and create drawings fluctuating considerably in quality, humorousness and sense. I guess I Continue Reading

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My Bridesmaids Hangover

The first clue was the fact it was called ‘Bridesmaids’. Sure, I thought. I’ll go see what a friend had described as ‘The Hangover’ with women (The Hangover – Not my favourite movie but good for a laff). I mean, let’s be honest, the cast looked pretty good and the trailers looked funny, so why Continue Reading

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An Insider’s Guide to the (Fictional) Boutique Beers of the Rhino Room* (By Chris Knight)

*To be read in the voice of either Jeremy Clarkson or David Stratton. Boggins Stout A dark, meaty snack of a beer with a flavour like that of a Kelpie’s tongue (I don’t recommend French-kissing dogs, but it’s important for any reviewer to try a few breeds out first in the interests of specificity. It’s Continue Reading

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Welcome to the AdelComBlog!

G’day dudes, ladies and everyone in between. Feast your eye-sockets on this new cool thing right here! Welcome to the Adelaide Comedy Blog! AdelComBlog! AdComBlo! The AddyCombleDog! It’s as easy as ACB! (Working tagline, may change in the future.) With our trusty team of Adelaide Comedy Bloggers, we aim to bring you all the latest Continue Reading

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