A Reflection on The Adelaide Magazine Cover, December 2011 (by Julia Clarke)

The December 2011 issue of the Adelaide* Magazine is striking – with colour, great font and a full body shot of a corpse.

Now, I don’t want this to be a reflection of Adelaide and I don’t quite know what they were trying to say with this cover. I think their intentions were good —young Adelaidians are really into hipster, second hand and vintage gear right now. This corpse is quite vintage, ethnic, probably female and has the most notable disability of being dead—therefore ticking all of the ‘token’ qualities in a multicultural, all inclusive figure.

Maybe it’s supposed to represent the new skinny? Mummification, all the celebs are on it. Essentially, they take out all of those internal organs, (which are always SO tricky to lose in the gym —and lets face it, treadmills aren’t taking you anywhere) soak your body in natron salt (this takes all those fattening fluids out of you) and wrap you in linen (which, get this—is full of jewellery!).

But really, all they did is chuck a dead guy on their cover. A really quite convincingly dead guy. Juxtaposition of young and old? Maybe. A display of different dress senses through the ages? Maybe. A sinister warning of what Adelaidians might just do to YOU if you visited? I don’t know.

They could’ve at least used another Australian. Rumour is that the girl on the cover had her Grandad die the other week, maybe they should’ve used him? Keep the jobs to the locals? Give back to Australians? hmm? I know a few people at today tonight that might like to ask you those questions in an aggressive and very pointless manner.

I do respect the amount of puns and headlines that can be used with and Egyptian Mummy. They could ‘Wrap up’ an event or story, they could ask for ‘Mummy’ or even ‘Ankh’ the shit out of something. But they went with ‘Mummy Mia’ because we should all be so surprised with all the things we could be doing in the school holidays.

IS THIS IT?! We can go into the Egyptian room in the Museum which has not changed in the time that I’ve been on the earth? Ever heard of the Plaster Fun House?!

Adelaide* Magazine, you defaced all of the ritual and dignity of Ancient Egyptian belief by photographing one of their dead so that you can put a pun on the cover which can then indicate that Adelaide is full of Activities for children? Sir Colonel Light would roll in his grave—but I’m sure if you knew where he was buried you might just put him on the cover too… probably pointing—with the headline ‘let there be light’ to advertise the moonlight cinema (which I love 100%).

So, to the Adelaide* Magazine, do not deface the dead just to try to entertain the overly hipster youth on your cover (the only young boys that wear that outfit are no boys).

Please.

*= LOL JKS

(By Julia Clarke @ClarkeJulia. And check out her art exhibition of Funny People Portraits at the Hotel Wright Street!)

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