Tag Archives: Chris Knight

Why I Stopped Writing Blogs

Written on September 14, 2014 at 11:07 pm, by

There comes a time in everyone’s life when you have to re-evaluate everything. That time was a year ago for me. That’s when I stopped writing blogs. Sure, I still use the Internet like any other person, using social media, checking sites, tweeting, writing blogs and watching videos. But I’ve stopped writing blogs. When I Continue Reading

17 Web Headlines That Prove Clickbaiters Are Losing It (Number Three Made Me Bawl Like An Injured Dingo Puppy)

Written on August 31, 2014 at 12:00 pm, by

‘Clickbait’ refers to web headlines written in such a way as to pique one’s curiosity (make you click it) by leaving out the type of information usually included or expected in, you know, headlines. But are these clickbaiters aware of the toll it is taking on them? Click through and find out!   It Looked Continue Reading

Hardball Interviews: Groot

Written on August 24, 2014 at 2:21 pm, by

We all know Groot, the sentient tree member of the Guardians of the Galaxy. But how much do we really know about him? Who, really, am Groot? I sat down recently to have a face-to-bark conversation.   So, Groot, what’s been happening recently? I am Groot. That’s fascinating. The movie seems to be doing well, Continue Reading

The World Doesn’t Need Any More Robin Williams Tributes

Written on August 17, 2014 at 12:00 pm, by

And yet, here we are. Another piece written about the passing of Robin Williams. Why are there so many articles full of sad, thoughtful words penned by usually funny or upbeat people? What’s going on? I was a weird kid. When I was 10, my favourite movie was Hook. When I was 11, it was Continue Reading

Fun Linguistics Test!

Written on August 10, 2014 at 12:00 pm, by

How smart are you? Check out this sweet online test. It’s really simple. Just read through this list of thirty words. If you know the word AND its definition, you get a point. Add them all up at the end and you’ll see how smart you are. Share and compare it with your friends! Cat Continue Reading

Why The Advertising Industry Needs Me, Chris (Marketing Genius) Knight

Written on July 27, 2014 at 12:00 pm, by

Want to sell products? Want to have things jumping off the shelves? Want ca$h-flow, and fast? Then you need to start advertising, my way. For instance, look back at the word cash-flow. Notice something? There’s a subliminal dollar sign. I made you think about cash subliminally and superliminally. That last word is a huge word Continue Reading

A Male Perspective on Breastfeeding

Written on July 20, 2014 at 12:00 pm, by

Look, there’s a lot of opinions floating around out there, and I hate to add to the noise. Yet, I have not seen anyone else standing up and making this particular point: I don’t think men should breastfeed at all, let alone in public. Before you get angry, I’ve thought about this a lot, but Continue Reading

How To Survive a Petting Zoo Outing

Written on July 13, 2014 at 12:00 pm, by

So, you’re going to a petting zoo. Wow, are you sure you can’t get out of it? Maybe a friend dared you. Maybe you lost a bet. Maybe you want to prove something to yourself. Whatever the reason, I can help you survive. I’ve been there too. I made it out alive (seven times!) and Continue Reading

My Essay on ‘Australia in 2014’ (as written by a Year 9 in 2034)

Written on July 6, 2014 at 4:18 pm, by

2014 was an amazing year. Everyone was LOLing at their fun, 2-dimensional Internet on their smartphones because Steve Jobs hadn’t been cloned yet.

Hollywood Behind-The-Scenes!

Written on November 4, 2013 at 1:09 am, by

I can’t believe we’ve managed this amazing scoop, but here it is: a screenshot from the credits of the upcoming 2014 action blockbuster Robocop! You may draw your own conclusions, but I, for one, am super-excited to see this film. There are some exciting names in this list, which has NOT been confirmed yet by Continue Reading

The Collected Correspondences of Rupert Raskolnikoff

Written on October 20, 2013 at 11:45 pm, by

Unearthed in late 2013, these letters date back to a simpler time, when men were gentlemen, all women were royalty and cars were seen as eccentric wheeled horse-buggies. It was early 2013. Rupert Raskolnikoff died recently from a freak bullet accident, without receiving a reply to even one of his many, many letters. This was Continue Reading

Brilliant TV Screenplay (Attention Vince Gilligan)

Written on October 13, 2013 at 11:02 pm, by

*BREAKING BAD SPOILER ALERT*   *BREAKING BAD SPOILER ALERT*   *BREAKING BAD SPOILER ALERT*   *BREAKING BAD SPOILER ALERT*   *BREAKING BAD SPOILER ALERT*   *BREAKING BAD SPOILER ALERT*   *BREAKING BAD SPOILER ALERT*   *BREAKING BAD SPOILER ALERT*   *BREAKING BAD SPOILER ALERT*   *BREAKING BAD SPOILER ALERT*   *BREAKING BAD SPOILER ALERT*   Continue Reading

Actual Want-Ads Found on Gumtree.com.au*

Written on September 15, 2013 at 9:17 pm, by

(*That may in fact have been placed by yours truly, Chris Knight) Tiger Blam This is not a typo. I want a tiger that explodes in some way, not Tiger Balm. I do NOT need Tiger Balm, I need Tiger Blam. This can be a stuffed tiger, a photo of a tiger, or an abstract Continue Reading

An Editorial, Commenting on the 2013 Australian Federal Election

Written on September 8, 2013 at 10:03 pm, by

For quite some time, various pundits and prognosticators speculated upon the outcome of this election and now the results are in. Loyal readers naturally wish to see what the Adelaide Comedy Blog’s editor-in-chief, Chris Knight, has to say on the subject. And so, without further ado, right, I’m pretty sure everyone has tuned out by Continue Reading

11 Signs You Might Be A Crow-Eater!

Written on August 19, 2013 at 6:34 pm, by

1. You order pies with ‘the beaks on the side’. 2. You refer to yourself as a ‘Corvophage.’ 3. You often fear crows may attack in reprisal for your many meals. 4. You have specific techniques for omelettes, scrambled, poached, boiled and fried crow-eggs. 5. You can tell the difference between ravens and crows every Continue Reading

Get In On The Ground Floor! (by Chris Knight)

Written on April 27, 2013 at 9:25 am, by

Note: I recently received this email from an unnamed source. I am a little worried it may be a scam. Please advise.   I have forwarded YOU this link because you are a person! or people! As such, don’t YOU think that YOU might like to own your own legitimately owned BUSINESS? Or a company?! Continue Reading

Adelaide Comedy’s New Social Media Strategist (By Chris Knight)

Written on April 14, 2013 at 6:53 am, by

The following is a transcript from a meeting in which a marketing consultant gave some of the Adelaide comedians a presentation on social media. Originally, there were four hour-long sessions, but the consultant left after 15 or so minutes. The following is the only record of the brief visit. Alright, is everyone here? Okay. This Continue Reading

Are Sexist Guns Corrupting Racist Geeks with Drugs in Comedy? (by Chris Knight)

Written on January 31, 2013 at 7:57 am, by

Oh, hello. I was going to write about a hard-hitting issue, fraught (yes, fraught!) with opinions on either side, yet confident I could be the one clear voice of reason. My perennial promise to you, the reader, is to forge through the icy seas of uncertainty in search of truth, or at least a horse Continue Reading

WHO WOULD WIN IN A FIGHT?* (by Chris Knight)

Written on December 4, 2012 at 7:03 am, by

*(A Hypothetical Scenario—in which inanimate objects are judged not solely on their merits, but rather on their fighting skills.) Episode 1: The Rundle Mall Balls Versus The Rundle Lantern The police have placed barricades at Gawler Place and Frome Street. The shoppers have been evacuated and the helicopters are circling. This has never happened before, Continue Reading

Registration Fever (by Chris Knight)

Written on October 12, 2012 at 6:10 am, by

I recently registered my car in SA for the first time, legitimising my automobile as a bona-fide pie-floater and/or crow-eating machine. Registration of any kind is not fun. For example, try telling people you meet that you are ‘on a register’. They will back away, afraid of the mere mention of the word. No-one likes Continue Reading

Life and Death and Comedy (by Chris Knight)

Written on August 26, 2012 at 11:07 am, by

Two huge, even grandiose nouns and a third tacked on the end, almost as an afterthought: life and death and comedy. A bit too serious for the blog? Well, tough. Melodrama, here we come.1 My aunt asked me to MC2 at my nana’s funeral earlier this month. My first thought was ‘sounds like a tough gig’ Continue Reading

Comedian Share House Rules and Information Sheet (by Chris Knight)

Written on May 14, 2012 at 7:57 am, by

Welcome* to the comedian share house! (*welcome may be temporary; until no longer welcome) Thank you for moving in. Specifically, thank you for paying the $700 cash deposit. We really needed that.   The Card When entering the house, you will be given a laminated card with two dates on it. The first is the Continue Reading

Thirty Thoughts I Had Immediately After Bumping My Head On A Stobie Pole While Walking And Texting At Night (By Chris Knight)

Written on April 29, 2012 at 1:45 pm, by

Gnuuhhh… Ouch. Wha? Oh, a Stobie pole. A STOBIE POLE? I just walked into a Stobie pole. Did anyone see? Nope. Still cool. Well, I must be drunk, because that is a thing a drunk person might do. Wait. I’m entirely sober. It must have been because of this concussion it feels like I have. Continue Reading

Adelaide Comedy's New Social Media Strategy (By Chris Knight)

Written on April 2, 2012 at 9:19 am, by

It’s time to shake off the post-Fringe blues and get back into comedy again, specifically by reading the Adelaide Comedy Blog! And appropriately, Chris Knight has decided to share the minutes of a seminar given to the Adelaide Comedy crew about Social Media Optimisation: Alright, is everyone here? Okay. You’re recording? Let’s start. Okay comedy Continue Reading

Some Reasons As To Why There is No Blog Posted This Week (By Chris Knight)

Written on October 30, 2011 at 3:25 pm, by

Sunday (Evening) Spent some time laughing at all the Nun-puns, then saying ‘Nun-puns’ over and over again until I started coughing. I was staring into the mirror in my room, trying it at louder and louder volumes. Nun-puns. Nun-puns. Nun-puns. See? Still hilarious. Coughing fit lasted until three in the morning.   Monday Woke up Continue Reading

An Insider’s Guide to the (Fictional) Boutique Beers of the Rhino Room* (By Chris Knight)

Written on September 25, 2011 at 11:47 am, by

*To be read in the voice of either Jeremy Clarkson or David Stratton. Boggins Stout A dark, meaty snack of a beer with a flavour like that of a Kelpie’s tongue (I don’t recommend French-kissing dogs, but it’s important for any reviewer to try a few breeds out first in the interests of specificity. It’s Continue Reading