- Gnuuhhh…
- Ouch.
- Wha?
- Oh, a Stobie pole.
- A STOBIE POLE?
- I just walked into a Stobie pole.
- Did anyone see? Nope. Still cool.
- Well, I must be drunk, because that is a thing a drunk person might do.
- Wait. I’m entirely sober.
- It must have been because of this concussion it feels like I have.
- That previous thought makes no sense. That is the thinking of someone who is concussed.
- Am I concussed? Either way I’m going to have a headache for the next three days.
- Text-and-walk injuries are for 16-year-old Gen-Y girls. Is that who I’ve become?
- I am 30 years old and I hit a pole with my head and I was sober.
- At least my phone is okay.
- I am so superficial.
- Who can I blame for this that isn’t me?
- I wonder if ‘Stobie pole’ has a wikipedia page?
- Curse you, James Cyril Stobie, 1895-1953!
- I am an idiot. I am an idiot. I am an idiot. I am an idiot. I am an idiot. I am an idiot. I am an idiot.
- No-one must ever know of this.
- There is now a giant lump on my head and everyone will know of this.
- What can I tell people?
- She’s lump, she’s lump, she’s lump, she’s on my head.
- Guess what? Just found out I’m a half-unicorn.
- I suddenly have the idea for something called a ‘flux capacitor’.
- You wanna know how I got this scar? Why so serious?
- Forehead scar? Yes, I am the real Harry Potter.
- That’s it. With one thump I have dislodged the last sorry remainder of my dignity and self-respect.
- Can this be material?
(By Chris Knight)
